Did He Seriously Just Write To Me In The Third Person?

I must say my world on Match.com has hit a sort of lull within the past week. I had the amazingly quirky date with The Ginger last Saturday... but that really has been my highlight of this experience thus far. He said he would call on Monday and he did, so we made some plans for Thursday. I was pretty excited, but got so caught up with work that I couldn't even peruse options online during my lunch break.

Thursday came and I left work with a skip in my step. The Ginger and I had texted earlier in the day and decided on meeting up around 9ish. I texted him at 8:45 to let him know I was ready and to figure out where to meet up. He was rather delayed in a response and after a bit of painful back and forth I receive this lil gem in my inbox,

"Man, I've had a lot to drink."

Seriously?! Seriously. You're about to go on a date and you decide to go out and get trashed with the guys. I quickly responded with a slightly bitchy, majorly annoyed text that read, "Well, when you decide that you want to get to know me soberly, let me know." And then a rather pathetic text back of, "Awe man, I fucked up." Yes Ginger, yes you did. I haven't heard from him since and 20 bucks says he doesn't remember a thing, woke up in the morning and was humiliated. Or at least that's how I hope it happened.

Since then I've gotten some rather amusing emails that have yet to come to fruition. One guy offered to buy me a fish sandwich... I said I preferred steak.

Another wrote to me in the third person. It started with, "Hi there. Matt's away from his profile right now, but really likes your profile. " and continued from there. He did mention currently being in England, as I read this my heart skipped about 5 or 6 beats at the thought and I woke up in a daze sprawled on my bed day dreaming of little Emma Grace and Laurence frolicking through green pastures at our vacation home in Manchester. I've written him back and will see what kind of irrational response I get this time.

I hope for a more successful and entertaining week this week, if not for my sake, then for your reading pleasure.

I think Sarah may have some things up her sleeve, so stay tuned!

I Went on a Date with Jeff MoutherFucking Goldblum

My very neat and well laid out schedule of dates has flip flopped at least a dozen times.  The architect and I ended up going out on Sunday (yeah, Valentine's Day), The Sceintist and I went out on Monday and the Man in the Plaid Shirt unfortunately got bumped to next weekend (why must I wait for the one I actually want??)

Ok, let's get down to dirty details.  The Architect.  An architect for a green developing company.  Overdosed on acid at age 11.  Sounds interesting, right?  Well not when it's told from the perspective of this depressingly boring soul.  Seriously, the guy overdosed on acid at age 11.  If you're willing to offer up that information on the first date, you'd had better make the story entertaining, otherwise you'll just freak me out.  The date lasted an hour.  We were supposed to go out again tomorrow.  I will not be texting him.  The End.

And then there was The Scientist.  A dark haired, glasses sporting, round fellow who runs marathons.  It took me about twenty minutes to figure out who he reminded me of and another hour to get over the fact that it was Jeff Goldblum.  Yeah, the obnoxious side kick guy in Jurassic Park and Independence Day.  I'm trying not to be too picky, but seriously, Jeff Goldblum??  With the stammer and the intellectual quips? Seriously?

He's a bit of nerd that's trying his darndest to be suave now that he's thirty.  We meandered around the Botanic Gardens, made fun of the artwork and then went to a fancy wine and cheese place.  He ordered us expensive wine, the tiniest portions of cheese I've ever seen and a plate of dates.  Every time he took a bight he'd close his eyes and make some sort of moaning sound.  It was awkward.  But every time I took a bite, pieces of cracker and cheese would tumble out of my mouth and on to my lap, so I guess we're even.

Later we decided we would be having children.  When he suggested we name one Chelsea I said absolutely not, as it's no longer 1992.  When I suggested Sophia Christiana he responded "Oh, I'm sorry.  I didn't realize we'd be having a Bulgarian princess."  The guy makes me laugh.  A lot.

After the fancy cheese place, my hunger not even remotely satisfied and the wine racing to my head, we walked across the street to see The Imaginarium of Doctor Paranssus.  I let his arm touch mine, but that's about all the premature intimacy I could muster at the moment.  On the ride home he smooth talked my hand into his.  And when he lifted our intertwined fingers to kiss my hand... he accidently kissed his instead.  I tried not laugh but- Ok, I didn't try at all.  I lost it.  He practically threw my hand out of his and stammered something I didn't quite catch.

Moral of the story- he's funny.  No, he's hilarious.  But I'm not quite sure he's my type.  Mostly because when I consider kissing him I get a little nauseous.  And he's got too good of posture.  No one stands up that straight.  No one.

PS- At one point he told me I was the most adorable piece of humanity he'd ever seen.  I think he might like me.

<3, Sarah

Intriguing...

The evening of my date with "The Ginger" all started with a bit too much anticipation and jitters. He was only texting back every hour or so (this does not stand well with my mad texting skillz) and I only had tonic water and a few M&Ms during my shift at work. We finally pinned down some plans to meet at a neighborhood bar (we live 7 blocks from each other, which could ultimately be good or really, really bad) around 12:30 once I was off.

"When you get here I'm sitting at the bar with a red beanie."

I swung the doors open to the bar and there he was sitting with his back to me. "Alright, here it goes, show him who's boss." (I give myself pep talks all the time). I sidled right next to him at the bar and flashed a smile. "Ohhh hey..." He paused with a grin on his face and passed me a glass and a pitcher of beer. We eventually moved to a booth and discussed everything from Passion Pit (super points) to how his dad sold him his '95 Jeep for $287. At some point he took off his hat and my heart twitterpated with joy. His curly, wavy beautiful red hair flowed out with nonchalant hipster, snowboarder ease. Some of the best red hair I've ever seen.

The bar tender announced last call and for some reason we both decided on a shot of bourbon to end the night. The conversation was going so well he suggested we hang out at his place and I agreed. I threw on my bright orange parka, he threw on a sleek snowboarder jacket and we walked a few blocks to his apartment. It was a pretty nice place with books on shelves, across the fire place mantel, and a top the back of his toilette. He admitted to not even reading half of them.

Everything went well, maybe a bit too well... I mean this is a social experiment right? I can't hit one out of the park on my first try. As I was leaving he tried to kiss me, I ever so coyly moved my face to the side and he planted one on my cheek. He looked me straight in the eyes and mumbled, "Intriguing..." I laughed and we parted ways.

There are plans for a dinner... I'm crossing my fingers for steak.

One Busy Week

To be honest.  I don't have time for this business.  I work, I go to school, I spend countless hours doing busy work homework and now I have three dates in one week.  Oh yes, my friends, I said three dates in one week.


Monday- I will be meeting with the lovable and squishy yet surprisingly sarcastic scientist/photographer.  For short, quick reference, he will hence forth be known as The Scientist.  He told me I will be going out with him tomorrow.  I was caught a bit off guard as there was no real request.  Just a statement of fact, within a statement of fact.  "I LOVE science.  Right now it's all about astronomy and particle physics. I'll explain later, when we go to the Botanic Gardens together.  Which will be Monday.  4pm-ish."  Uh... ok then (I pray to God I don't have to listen to him talk about particle physics).  Let's see how this goes.

Friday- We have the ever so dark and mysterious The Man in the Plaid Shirt.  Owns his own company in the music biz, writing a novel, likes Harry Potter.  Only problem; he's from South Dakota.  I have a problem with boys from South Dakota.  Trying to keep my mind open though because he is quite nice to look at and might be my favorite so far.

Saturday- A date with The Architect.  He builds super mod, super green homes in Denver.  We IM'd a bit, he got straight to the point of the date and I thought "well sure, why not." And then I lost his email address. Woops.  Still trying to figure out that one. Only problem; Overuse of the smile emoticon.  No one is that happy, seriously.  And if he is, my cynical side is going to freak out.  He also mentioned something about falling in love with me (yeah, he that guy).  Ooh my.

Until next time my loves, over and out.

<3,
Sarah

We both have French names.

The journey began on a Wednesday night... it is now Saturday afternoon and I have a highly anticipated date with, "The Ginger". I've been told once you go ginger, you never go back. I didn't believe it until I dated one. Now all I care about are those ever illusive, freckly, green eyed men. I mean the first thing I typed into the Match.com search engine was red hair and that's how I stumbled upon my first experiment.

I wrote a pretty ridiculous initial message about how much I loved bacon, Bourbon and anything 80s. He bit. Twice. And ended his second message with,

"Let's hang out... we both have French names, so you should call me. I hope you don't find this cheap, but my number is (303) 9** - 1***"

Cheap? Heavens no. I like a man that's direct. Am I about to embark on a date with a red headed hipster that rocks a Chester the molester stache? Possibly. Is there excitement mixed with trepidation? Yes, yes there is, cuz I mean, think of the children.

A Hairless Cat Named Ajax, and Here We Go

We've begun our journey into the nether regions of online dating.  We've been winking, gotten winked at, exchanged a few messages with some rather dashing fellows, and and lol'd (literally) on more than one occasion.

We don't want to be catty, but man there are some funny profiles out there.  We're compiling a list of humorous anecdotes found in various "about me's" and "what I'm looking for's."  Be sure to check back.

Currently I am IMing a certain ddaniels180.  He asked me why I was going to make him fall in love with me and then disappear to the Congo.  Nice.  He also asked why I signed up for Match.  The explanation is going to take some finagling.  I'm sure "for a social experiment and blogging entertainment" wasn't exactly what he was hoping to hear.

He also has a hairless cat named Ajax.  I'll let you know how this one turns out.

<3,
Sarah